Mel’s Daughter

While my four-year-old daughter looks freakishly like me proof that she carries Mel’s DNA jumps out at me every so often.

Lisa:  Mommy, why is your tummy so big?

Mona:  Well, when your Kuya Carl was was a very, very little baby, he lived in my tummy.  It made my tummy stretch so he can move and play.  When Kuya Digs was a little baby he lived in my tummy too.  And when you were a little baby, you lived in my tummy too.  My tummy is big because all of my babies grew inside and then came out of tummy.  (The more logical Mommy-ate-too-many-pizzas-and-burgers version was not whimsical enough).

Lisa:  So who came out of your arms?

Antipatika.

 

‘Been Around the World and Ayayay …

Life has taken me to four countries in six weeks. That’s seven airports in two continents. Four time zones and two climates. The trips have not been without their hiccups. Like when I rented a car in the US with GPS, entered the wrong hotel address and drove into the belly-button of the American midwest. I was 20 miles off course before I realized the oversight; and by then, all I could see was corn and truckers. But no threat of missing my transfer, of facing power-tripping immigraton officer or of being crushed by my kabayans scrambling for their balikbayan boxes can compare to the scare I faced when I got home: getting caught between a hoard of sugar-fuelled children in Halloween costumes and a giant bag of candy. I swear I saw a rabid three-year old in butterfly wings.

 

Analyze This

The company I work for is one of the largest indutrial technology leaders in the world.  You wouldn’t recognize the brand, if you are a mall rat.  But if you work in offshore drilling or hi-tech manufacturing or data network engineering, it will definitely ring a bell.  We are a 20 billion dollar company that has a product and service portfolio so diverse, I have yet to fully understand its breadth, despite 15 months of attempting.

Yesterday, at a presentation for visiting American investment analysts where I was one of several presentors, I learned one of our divisions produced a product line critical to industrial process management.  Gas analyzers.

Instead of keeping my mind on the presentations like a normal person, I found myself making a mental note of people I knew whose social lives would benefit from having their gas analyzed:

- Code Green Alert.  Typically from cabbage, hard-boiled eggs.  Unstable.  Mitigate by looking around and blaming the guy next to you.
 
- Code Yellow Alert.  Typically from tacos, beer.  Serious.  Mitigate by avoiding open windows and electric fans.  Stay downwind.

- Code Red Alert.  Typically from kamote, curry.  Critical.  Stay away from open flame.  Riding an elevator would be a crime.